Never had I imagined myself to be faced in such an ordeal. Should i settle and hope for that i would find what i am looking for or should i take that step that I've been wanting and waiting for my whole life?

It's never easy to figure things out especially when you do not have the guts to stand by your decisions. That certain decision would define your future. That decision could be irrevocable.

I guess that the root cause of this indecisiveness is fear. Fear of uncertainty is the noise that keeps me up at night. Trying to figure things out was a game that i liked playing but in those games, i never really thought of losing. Probably, there is also the fear of failure that mixes with the fear of uncertainty that would always make me want to hide from the world.

As this point, I guess I need to think more about these things. I need to man up and face the fact that i need to choose one. It's easier said than done.

The breeze whispered me something. He told me that summer is near. He embraced me tightly to make me understang what he really meant. And with that short instance, I felt the sheer joy of freedom and tranquility.

when everything seems to be doing well, then you suddenly hit that bump in the road that would shatter the glass. That glass of that which you believe to be your reality- which you've been living in. Then emerges that truth amidst the shattered images of your futile imagination. You'll just find yourself overwhelmed and helpless. Everything that you believed in and everything that you've hoped for, gone. What to do? I don't know. You will never know what to do when the truth is right in front of you. No one knows what to do. I don't know what to do.

With that said, wouldn't you just doubt your capabilities? wouldn't you just doubt yourself?

I just hope everything would turn out well. Just well. It doesn't have to be in favor of me. I just genuinely hope that it would turn out fine.

I hope that i'll be fine.

i hate crying! argh:|

for the past couple of years, i've been blogging about my random thoughts about that year to encapsulate my experiences of that year.

this year, i won't be doing that...i realized that this year brought me too many wonderful experiences and these things are far too many for me to blog about:))

i'm just really thankful for everyone who has been a part of my life and who made this year so remarkable for me:)

thank you so much guys! thank you for being part of my life! thank you for making it great!:)

love you, guys!!!

here's to 2009!:D buckle your seatbelts and enjoy the ride:P

i finally got the time to do some leisure readings:) don't laugh at me, but I'm reading twilight just now. well, i just got so curious about the whole thing since people have been buzzing and creating such a hype over the movie. I'm actually liking the book! *kilig* anyway, I'm falling in love with Edward (and in real life, I have my own Edouard! ngek! hahahahahaha!:P).

i also got the time to update my itunes:)) I'm in love with Adele's song, Chasing Pavements! <3

"should i give up or should i keep on chasing pavements?"....<3!!!!!

A Black man runs and a nation is behind him!

Run, Obama, Run!

*those are air force 1's and they look damn great!!!:D

- yes...im studying, but i i'm taking a break:P

Anong isasagot mo kapag sinabi sayo ng CRUSH mo 'to?

1. "bakit ba palagi ka na lang ganyan?"
- deal with it! (taray!)

2. "ngayon ko lang na-realize..mahal pala kita"
- ako...dati pa!!!:))

3. "iwanan mo na sya. mas magiging masaya ka sa piling ko.."
- talaga lang ah?

4. "smile ka nga..cute mo kapag naka smile e.."
- ayaw ko nga!!!

5. "gawin mo naman yung homework ko sa math.."
- AAASSSSAAAA!!!! i aint yer yaya! gwapo ka nga pero tanga...sayang!:(

6. "sino crush mo? ako diba?"
- crush mo rin ako noh?

7. "i am so blessed to have someone like you"
- sige...papacanonize na kita bukas na bukas para Saint ka na!! yehey!:P

8. "why does Monday come before Tuesday?"
- check mo sa google!!:))

9. "may ticket ako sa concert ng linkin park, wanna watch?
- no thanks..pero kung La Salle v. Ateneo this Sept 6, sure!

10. "isa ka sa mga pinakaspecial na tao sa buhay ko... alam mo ba yun?"
- chos!

11. "nahuhulog na ata ako sayo.."
- wait...mabigat ka! baka deins kita kayanin, chong!

12. "i can't smile without you."
- awww...paano ba yan? you don't have me! lagi ka na lang sad?

13. "thank you sa lahat lahat."
- oks...no prob! bakit? are you dying tomorrow?

14. "wala lang"
- alam mo, walang "wala", ang meron lang ay kakulangan ng meron!:))

15. "ano cell number mo?"
- sorry...strict parents ko eh!

16. "shall we dance?"
- Jabbawockeez style? sure ba!!!

17. "pwede bang manligaw?"
- ikaw bahala! pero it doesn't mean na sasagutin kita ah!!:))

18. "mahal ko pa din sya hangang ngayon.."
- good for you...btw, why are you telling me this? STUPID!

19. "you were everything, everything that i wanted"
- singing bee? i know that song!!:))

20. "kelan mo ba ako sasagutin?"
- ngayon...tapos after 1 minute...break na tayo...game?1?:))

-----------------------------

Do you have a crush on someone?
- yeah:P

Matangkad ba crush mo?
- taller than me:)

Does your crush like you?
- YEAH!!:))

Do you think about him/her?
- Last time i checked, yeah! kaya nga crush eh!! duhhh!!:))

How long have you liked your crush?
- not counting!! ask him!!:))

Guwapo or maganda ba siya?
- HECK YEAH!!! * UUUYYY!! BLUSHHHH!!!*

Singkit?
- Yeah...but he's not chinese!!

When you see him/her, are you shy?
- hhihihihihihihi!!:))

Older or younger siya?
- 2 years older:)) i go for older men!

One day will you be with him/her?
- that day arrived already!

Ano nagustuhan mo sa kanya?
-everything! chos!

Are you comfortable around your crush?
- YEP YEP YEP!

What do you think about his/her clothing style?
- good:)

Will you wait for him/her to be yours?
- didn't have to wait for a longer period of time:))

Basketball player/soccer player/vball player/swimmer?
- shooter....former bowling-er:)) he plays a lot of sports!! AND LOVE!!!!:))

Sa tingin mo marami kang kaagaw sa kanya?
- YEAH!!!:)) girls and bois!

Kung hihingiin nia number mo ibibigay mo?
- kinuha niya from a friend...good job!

Eh kung liligawan ka nia? sasagutin mo?
- yeah:))

Pagnakikita mo ba yung crush mo..ehh..yu muyuko ka?
- oo naman!!:))

Nagkatitigan na ba kayo?
- yeah

Kilala ka ba nia?
- knows me well enough and vice versa

Taken na ba siya?
- yeah...:)) by bern!! chos!

Mabango ba yung crush mo?
-`hell yeah!!

Kakain ka ba ng apoy para sa kanya?
- bakit? intense naman!

Willing ka ba matutunan ung sports na nilalaro nia?
- marunong ako eh!! teammate!!:P teammate ko!! LOVETEAMMATE!!:)) corny!

Sa tingin mo magugustuhan ka nia?
- ata...

Ano ung physical feature niya na nagustuhan mo?
- bad ass look:))

Paano kung nalamn mong bading siya?
- hmmm...steads lang!!

Paano kung nalaman mong gusto nia yung friend mo?
- ayt... good job!!!

Message mo sa crush mo?
wala!